Most kids answer everything with one word: "Good"
• How was your day? "Good"
• How was practice? "Good"
• What do you want to eat? "Good" (this literally happened to me)
There are a few proven techniques you can use to spark richer conversations:
1. Context Matters (side-by-side) Kids open up when they are relaxed and their hands are busy. Don't interrogate them face-to-face.
Throw a ball, go for a walk, cook together, drive in the car
2. Use Open-Ended Questions (avoid yes/no traps)
Instead of "Did you have a good day?" try: "If you could change one thing about today, what would it be and why?" or "tell me something you learned that surprised you."
3. The "FBI Mirror" Technique: When they finally speak, don't interrupt. Instead, repeat the last 2-3 words they said, then pause.
Child: "Math was really annoying today."
You: "Really annoying?"
Child: "Yeah, the teacher made us..." This signals you are listening and invites them to expand
4. Validate, don't fix: when they share something tricky, resist the urge to jump to immediate solutions.
"Thank you for telling me. I believe you."
Validate first, fix later.
5. It's Not "One Shot on Goal" Big topics require many small conversations. Don't cram it all in. Also, remember that 20 minutes of undivided attention (no phone) is worth more than 3 hours of being "half-present"
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