Systems not goals

 

Scott Adams

@ScottAdamsSays

·

15h

Sounds right

Steve Magness

@stevemagness

A new meta-analysis on the impact of goal setting on performance found: 1. Process goals had a large effect on performance 2. Performance goals had a moderate effect 3. Outcome goals had a negligible effect

Steve Magness

@stevemagness

·

18h

Two main reasons this works: 1. Focusing on the outcome tends to activate both approach and avoidance motivation. We’re pulled into a tug of war battle. 2. Process goals speak the language of our brain and body. They speak action. It’s not that outcome or performance goals are inherently bad. It’s that we already have a hyper focus on them. We can’t escape them in most situations. It comes with the arena. Of course you want to win or run a 4 minute mile. But doubling down on them just brings more of the negative without the positive of what can we do about it.

https://x.com/stevemagness/status/2002825657785389347?s=12

• The post highlights a 2022 meta-analysis on goal setting in sports, showing process goals (e.g., technique focus) yield large performance gains (d=1.36), outperforming moderate effects from performance goals (d=0.44) and negligible ones from outcome goals (d=0.09).
• Author Steve Magness, a performance expert with books like "Do Hard Things," uses this to advocate shifting from results obsession to actionable processes, aligning with self-regulation theory's emphasis on controllable behaviors.
• Thread replies reveal practical curiosity—e.g., examples like training routines—and note the study's age, reflecting sustained debate on applying goal research beyond elite athletics.

So what’s the best way to improve?

The best way to improve performance—whether in sports, skills, work, or personal development—is to prioritize process goals over outcome or performance goals, according to strong evidence from sports psychology research.A 2022 meta-analysis of 27 studies (Williamson et al.) found that:

• Process goals (focusing on technique, strategy, or controllable actions) had the largest effect on performance improvement (Cohen's d = 1.36, a very large effect).
• Performance goals (e.g., achieving a specific time, score, or personal best) had a moderate effect (d = 0.44).
• Outcome goals (e.g., winning, beating others, or final rankings) had almost no effect (d = 0.09).

Process goals work better because they're fully under your control, reduce anxiety from uncontrollable factors (like opponents or conditions), direct attention to executable actions, build self-efficacy, and promote consistent effort and persistence.Practical Steps to Improve Effectively

1. Focus primarily on process goals
   Identify the specific behaviors, techniques, or habits that drive better results.
   • Examples in running: "Maintain relaxed shoulders and quick cadence during strides" instead of "Run a sub-20-minute 5K."
   • In writing/public speaking: "Practice deep breathing before starting" instead of "Deliver a flawless presentation."
   • In learning a skill: "Spend 30 minutes daily on deliberate technique drills" instead of "Master this by next month."
2. Use a hierarchy of goals
   • Set 1 big outcome goal for direction and motivation (e.g., "Win the league" or "Get promoted").
   • Break it into performance goals as milestones (e.g., "Improve my average score by 10% this season").
   • Drive everything with multiple process goals (the daily/weekly actions that make the above possible).
3. Make goals SMART where it fits
   SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) is great for making process and performance goals concrete and trackable.
   • Bad: "Get better at free throws."
   • Good (process): "Practice 100 free throws with proper form 4 days per week for the next month."
4. Track progress and adjust regularly
   Review weekly: What processes did you execute? What worked? Tweak as needed—flexibility prevents frustration. Feedback (from a coach, data, or self-review) amplifies goal effectiveness.
5. Combine with other proven habits
   • Deliberate practice (focused, effortful repetition with feedback).
   • Consistency over intensity.
   • Build intrinsic motivation by emphasizing mastery and enjoyment of the process.

Obsessing over outcomes often leads to pressure and suboptimal performance. By shifting attention to controllable processes, you build better habits, stay motivated longer, and—paradoxically—achieve better outcomes as a byproduct. This approach is backed not just by the 2022 meta-analysis but aligns with decades of goal-setting theory in psychology. Start small, stack process wins, and improvement compounds.

Ask questions

 

Zyan

@ZyanBizBoost

·

18h

A Harvard professor studied 1,000+ speed dates, parole hearings, and police body cam footage. What she discovered about conversation will change how you see every interaction you've ever had. Here's the science she just revealed on the latest Diary of a CEO: Dr. Allison Wood Brooks has spent 20 years studying how humans talk to each other. And it explains why you're probably making people dislike you without knowing it. It starts with something called "boomeranging." You say: "My favorite restaurant is Mr. Chows." They say: "Oh I've been to Mr. Chows! Last time I went with friends and..." They've just stolen your moment. You shared something personal. They made it about themselves. This happens constantly. And it's killing your relationships. The fix? One follow-up question before you redirect. "Who did you go with?" or "What did you order?" That's it. One question. Then you can share your story. But here's what really blew my mind: Dr. Brooks studied 1,000 speed dates at Stanford. She measured how many questions each person asked. People who asked just ONE extra question per date converted way more second dates. One question. That's the difference between connection and rejection. Men were way worse at this than women. Men asked fewer questions on average. But when they wanted the second date, they often didn't get it. The solution was embarrassingly simple: Ask more questions. Here's her framework for being instantly more likable: T - Topics: Prep 2-3 talking points before any conversation. Even 30 seconds of forethought makes you smoother. A - Asking: Ask more questions. Especially follow-up questions. This is where all the magic happens. L - Levity: Humor and warmth prevent boredom. If people aren't engaged, nothing else matters. K - Kindness: Use people's names correctly. Show respect. Small language choices compound. The most powerful phrase she teaches? "It makes sense that you feel X about Y." Someone says something crazy? Don't attack it. Say: "It makes sense that you feel that way. Tell me more." This validates without agreeing. It keeps the conversation alive. The moment you say "I disagree," their brain literally shuts down to your ideas. Brain scans prove this. But the scariest finding was about male friendship. 40% of men report having ZERO close friends. Dr. Brooks watched hundreds of men try to make friends. They talked about sports. Weather. Surface stuff. None of them asked: "What have you been struggling with?" None asked: "What do you hope to achieve?" Women ask these questions in the first 3 minutes. Men never got there. Vulnerability is the doorway to real friendship. And men have been socialized to see it as a weakness. The result? An epidemic of loneliness. Men are 4x more likely to say they have no one to turn to in a crisis. One last thing that stuck with me: If you walked into a room trying to be 1/10 likable, what would you do? Ignore people. Stay on your phone. Get their name wrong. 5/10? Small talk. Bland. Disinterested but not offensive. 10/10? Completely focused on them. Remember details. Ask about their life. Most people live at 5/10 without realizing it. The gap between forgettable and magnetic is smaller than you think. It's just attention. Curiosity. Follow-up questions. Skills anyone can learn. But almost nobody practices.

Talking with kids

 

Paternal Legacy

@PaternalLegacy

Most kids answer everything with one word: "Good" • How was your day? "Good" • How was practice? "Good" • What do you want to eat? "Good" (this literally happened to me) There are a few proven techniques you can use to spark richer conversations: 1. Context Matters (side-by-side) Kids open up when they are relaxed and their hands are busy. Don't interrogate them face-to-face. Throw a ball, go for a walk, cook together, drive in the car 2. Use Open-Ended Questions (avoid yes/no traps) Instead of "Did you have a good day?" try: "If you could change one thing about today, what would it be and why?" or "tell me something you learned that surprised you." 3. The "FBI Mirror" Technique: When they finally speak, don't interrupt. Instead, repeat the last 2-3 words they said, then pause. Child: "Math was really annoying today." You: "Really annoying?" Child: "Yeah, the teacher made us..." This signals you are listening and invites them to expand 4. Validate, don't fix: when they share something tricky, resist the urge to jump to immediate solutions. "Thank you for telling me. I believe you." Validate first, fix later. 5. It's Not "One Shot on Goal" Big topics require many small conversations. Don't cram it all in. Also, remember that 20 minutes of undivided attention (no phone) is worth more than 3 hours of being "half-present"

Basic psychological tricks

 https://x.com/i/status/2000434121336934868

BY THE AGE OF 35 YOU SHOULD BE SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THESE DARK PSYCHOLOGY TRICKS;

1. People Believe Confidence More than truth 

2. Silence Makes People Reveal Secrets.

3. Copying Body Language Creates Trust.

4. Compliments Control People.

5. Scarcity Makes Things Look Valuable.

6. Controlling Attention Shapes Reality.

7. First Impression Stick.

8. Sharing A Secret Builds Quick Trust.

9. Guilt Controls Behavior.

10. Certainty Beats Correctness.

11. Small Yes Leads to Big Yes.

12. Playing the Victim Shifts Power.

13. People Fear Rejection More than Lies.

14. Acting Unbothered Makes People Chase You.

15. Staying Calm is More Intimidating Than Shouting.

More:

16. Gaslighting Makes People Doubt Their Own Reality.  

17. Love Bombing Overwhelms With Affection To Create Dependency.  

18. Reverse Psychology Pushes People To Do The Opposite Of What's Suggested.  

19. Triangulation Uses A Third Party To Create Jealousy Or Insecurity.  

20. Projection Shifts Blame By Accusing Others Of Your Own Flaws.  

21. Reciprocity Exploits The Need To Return Favors.  

22. Authority Commands Obedience Through Perceived Power Or Expertise.  

23. Social Proof Convinces By Showing Others Already Agree Or Approve.  

24. Saying Less Than Necessary Builds Mystery And Power.  

25. Exploiting Weaknesses Targets Vulnerabilities For Control.  

26. Isolation Cuts Off Support To Increase Dependence.  

27. Fear Mongering Uses Threats To Drive Compliance.  

28. False Choices Limits Options To Steer Toward Your Desired Outcome.  

29. Negging Undermines Confidence With Backhanded Compliments.  

30. Always Saying Less Than Necessary Forces Others To Fill The Silence And Reveal More.

Know these tactics, but don’t live by them. Awareness is defense, not manipulation. Real power is choosing integrity over control, calm over chaos, and discipline over ego. Master psychology to protect yourself, not to play people.

By 35, you should know:
people believe confidence more than truth.
Certainty beats correctness.

Silence isn’t passive.
It’s a mirror—
that makes others talk too much.

Mimic their body language.
They’ll think you’re safe.
Drop a compliment—suddenly, they fold.

Scarcity sells.
Mystery magnetizes.
Attention is the real currency.

Say yes once.
You’ve set the trap for more.
Guilt bends behavior. Victimhood flips power.

Stay calm when they explode.
Stillness scares more than screaming ever could.

— The Master Builder 👑 @KingsProtocol